12/52

  * A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2017*

Matteo and Lilah: Things have felt a little crazy around the house lately.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed trying to keep up with all the chaos.  Lilah, you have become fiercely independent, wanting to do everything you see Brother doing.  Your body is still small, but you are suddenly capable of so much.  Those little muscles want to move and climb and dance.  My attention is divided as the two of you run in different directions.  One kid is climbing on the table while the other is dismantling the pantry.  Matteo, you have become fascinated by the inner workings of machines and are always taking everything apart that is held together by screws.  Your toys lie in heaps of parts all over your room.  “They grow up fast,” we are constantly reminded by strangers at the grocery store.  “Enjoy this time,” they always seem to say.  So I am trying.  I am trying to embrace the chaos and appreciate the everyday details: the messes, the spills, the boo boos, the broken toys.  I try to think about what these things reveal about our lives.  Those messes were left by children making mud puddles, spraying water, having fun.  Spills happened because Brother wanted to pour a glass of milk or open a container of applesauce for his baby sister.  The boo boos were kissed away with love and the broken toys reveal the curiosity and determination of a growing mind.  Perhaps there is a little space to enjoy the chaos and not always resist it.